The Prophet's SAW softskills and happiness

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Al hamdulillah, I attended a 4 hour training last Sunday. The training was conducted by a team of Malaysians specializing in analyzing and teaching the psychology behind the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) (see and call Muhammad Firdaus at 013 2002705 for more info). Here are some overall learning points: The Prophet (SAW)never investigated the background of a sin unless he absolutely had to - if somebody admitted to having done something wrong, the Prophet (SAW) did not look for details. He would simply point to actions (like praying, fasting, giving charity,....) that would compensate for the sin. The Prophet (SAW)rarely talked about Paradise or Hell to motivate people. For example, if somebody committed a sin, he never said, "Astighfirullah! You are going to Hell for that one." If people did something good, he would rarely say things "Well, Paradise is yours for doing that" [there are some exceptions as sometimes Allah SWT would inform them of the names of some of the Companions who were promised Paradise while they were still alive - but that is informing them of a fact). The Prophet (SAW) did not use words like "why" or "if". He used "what" and "when" instead. For example, he never asked people, "why did you do this?". Rather he would say, "what led you to do this". This seems like a small difference but "why" implies an accusation whereas "what" is about getting the facts. He also did not say, "if you do this, I will do that." He used to say instead, "When you do this, I will do that". He never called people bad names (like "kafir"). Generally, he was very good at managing people's emotions by either giving them good news when they have done good deeds, or giving them good news (by reminding them of Allah's Forgiveness and Mercy and encouraging them to do good to compensate for the sin) when they have committed sins. One of the points discussed in the training is that almost ALL of what Muslims habitually do contradicts the communication patterns of the Prophet (SAW). This creates tensions within families and within the community. Applying the Sunnah is more than being able to quote hadith. It is about modelling our behaviour and our patterns of communication on that of the Prophet (SAW). Surely, at the end of this process, happiness can be an individual and collective outcome.

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